Hanging out with Biff and Muffy

So, at some point last week, we got a telephone message from Unique Chrysler, a local dealership. They wanted to personally invite us to an evening to demonstrate some of their new models. They promised wine and cheese, and a chance to win a million dollars just for showing up.

We aren't in the position to be buying a new car, but some day we are eventually going to need another vehicle. I joke about planning on being buried in my '95 Dakota, but realistically I know that it's not going to last forever. Since we didn't have anything else going on, we decided to go check it out. By the time I'm ready to buy something, I'll probably be in the used market looking at vehicles that are being made today. Besides, how many people from Burlington would be attending? The odds of winning the million seemed pretty good.

Well, it turned out that they weren't giving away a million dollars of their own money like we assumed. They were handing out $2 lottery tickets to everyone in attendance. We didn't win (big surprise). The refreshments were pretty good, even if the wine was non alcoholic (I suppose as a car dealership, they aren't licensed to serve alcohol, particularly not free alcohol).

As for the vehicles, it's pretty obvious that they were marketing at people who have a lot more disposable income than we do. I don't think there was a single vehicle there under $40,000. They had a Jeep Commander, a Dodge Charger SRT-8, a Chrysler Crossfire convertible, a Dodge Magnum R/T AWD, and a Chrysler 300.

The Commander is HUGE! But it's clearly too low to the ground for any real off-roading, no matter what the Jeep division's marketing people say. Trust me. I crawled under it and looked. I could utterly destroy one in just a couple of hours, on trails I've driven in my Dakota or my dad's CJ. It looks nice and cushy inside, if that's your thing in a 4x4. I still think the TJ (a.k.a. Wrangler if you prefer) is the only true Jeep left since they killed the Cherokee.

The Charger had the 6.1L HEMI engine. There was a gentleman there who told me he owned one. He was complaining about the cost of replacement tires. Apparently the low-profile performance tires only lasted him about 30,000 km, and cost $350 each to replace. He pointed out that the salespeople had carefully avoided mentioning that to him. I had to wonder, if he has the kind of money where he can feed $4/gallon premium gas to a 6.1L HEMI V8, why is he complaining about the tires? He had to have known that it was a performance vehicle when he got it. I guess these things catch people off guard, as I hear stuff like that a lot. They also had a poster showing the orange Daytona edition. Apparently the color is called "Go ManGo!", instead of HEMI orange like I thought. At any rate, I'm a big fan of the look, with the blacked out grille and spoiler. I'm waiting for them to bring Sublime back... that would be wonderfully obnoxious.

I must be strange, because I really like the styling of the new Charger. I know a lot of people hate it for having (gasp!) four doors. Personally, I don't get the controversy. If it were a small coupe with a microscopic back seat like a Camaro, then obviously it wouldn't need four doors. But I can't stand full-sized cars with two doors. You get two huge, wide, heavy doors, and a large back seat that's pretty nice once you get back there. Too bad you can't squeeze through the front door opening. When Car & Driver reviewed the two-door Neon, they said "we have about as much fondness for two-door sedans as we do for one-wing airplanes... the only point seems to be that you never have to suffer the indignity of being called practical." I have to agree. The argument goes that the new car shouldn't be called "Charger" because the original Charger had two doors. Just because they used an inconvenient design in the past, does that mean we have to repeat it? Anyway, moving on...

The more I look at the Magnum, the more I like it. If I had the money to buy one or the other, I'd probably take a Magnum over a Charger, even though I think the Charger looks slightly better. Ever since we rented a Durango on our vacation in British Columbia in 2000, I've realized the benefits of the wagon-style cargo area. It's much more convenient and practical, too bad a comparable Durango would have been $11,000 more more than our Dakota. That's an awful lot of money for some extra glass and a hatch. Norah definitely approved of the paint color on the Magnum, a color that Chrysler describes as "brilliant black crystal pearl". I didn't realize that these things came in an all-wheel-drive configuration. It caught my attention much more when I realized that. The one they had there was equipped with a 5.7L HEMI, and had the ultra-plush leather interior with the GPS navigation system and all the other bells and whistles. The GPS system looks pretty cool. Much nicer than our little handheld GPS sitting in its cradle on top of the dash with wires going everywhere.

I didn't really look at the Crossfire much. It had too many people crawling all over it all night. I don't think I actually looked at the 300 at all, so I have no idea what the specs on it were. Personally, every time I see a Chrysler 300, I expect to see a mafia type in a pinstripe suit holding a Tommy gun standing on the running board. Not that this is a bad look, but I can't get the image out of my head.

The highlight of the evening for us was actually parked just outside the showroom. A Ram 2500 4x4, Cummins turbo diesel, with the new "Mega Cab". Again, this thing is HUGE! But it's easy to see the advantages of the extra cab size when you climb in it. The seats are like real seats, they recline and everything. Not like the jump seats in the Quad Cab. The Quad Cab is a huge improvement over the Club Cab, but the Mega Cab makes the back seats that much better, even if it is a silly name. I think it has more interior room than our apartment. We decided that we would need a two wheel drive version, as we both had trouble climbing up in to the cab. I looked up the trailer towing rating. Something like 12,800 lbs. Certainly much more than the 5700 we get out of our Dakota. Needless to say, we both left the dealership wishing we could upgrade to a Ram. Maybe some day.

The things that were notably missing were all the vehicles more in our price range. The Liberty, TJ, Dakota, PT Cruiser, Neon, etc. Like I said, this was obviously a night for Biff & Muffy, but we thought it was interesting to check out what the rich people drive. I would have preferred to check out a TJ Unlimited. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say it's safer if I don't see one. I could always go back any time and test drive one, but then I'd get a salesdroid there drooling over the idea of selling it to me. I have to give them credit, even though the evening was definitely sales motivated (and who can blame them), they did a good job of standing back, making themselves available to answer questions, and keeping their sales pressure to themselves.